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Mar. 22nd, 2012

A little post because I haven't posted in ages~

 I'm home on Spring break, and things are lovely! The beautiful weather is making me happy. I'm planning on riding my bike quite a lot. Tomorrow I'll ride it to a nearby farm for bread. On Saturday my mother and I will be visiting Consider Bardwell farm, a picturesque organic farm in southern Vermont. My mom is acquainted with the woman who runs the farm, and recently received an email stating that there were 99(!) goat kids born, and would we like to come visit them? Um. Who says no to 99 goat kids?!

Other than that, I have just been shopping, relaxing and eating. I ight melt. <3

Oct. 28th, 2011

Before reading this entry, put this song on in the background:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I80pc9jZ_t8
Feel free to get up out of your chair and applaud from 4:05 to 5:19.

Now that that you understand where my mind is right now...
I've officially watched all of the Doctor Who episodes with the 11th Doctor- terribly out of order, but still!

I think watching Doctor Who may actually be unwise, because it makes me want to go out immediately and save the world in a clever, magnificent way. Then I go out in search of adventure, and find that the most exciting thing is turning off the gas oven that my roommate has left on.

That'd make a fine episode- The Doctor Saves the World from Inconsiderate Roommates!

Of course, the roommate would actually be a wayward space creature that survives on harmful gasses, and every time I turn off the stove she would be slightly weakened. One day she would realize that she didn't have much time left- either she'd need a steady source of gas, or she'd die. AND THAT'S WHEN THE TROUBLE WOULD BEGIN.

There would be an explosion or two, and a piece of cake might take on added significance... but that's all up to Moffat.

(No, I don't know what I'm doing)

I've forced my suitemate to agree to watch the episodes in order from now on, starting with the 9th Doctor (who I rather dislike). We'll be watching classic Who episodes over the summer.

Oct. 8th, 2011

GOD THAT LAST ENTRY WAS WHINEY.

I swear I'm not a whiney person in real life. I am chipper and cheerful and other things that start with ch-. This is just the place where I vent about the stuff that gets me down.

I just feel like posting an entry...

And I don't know why, except that I am bored. I haaaate being bored.

I also sort of... still hate it here. I've definitely grown used to it, but I can't say that anything has changed or that I like things more. I just feel the hate less strongly now because I'm accustomed to it. It's a dull hate, and inactive one that occasionally flairs up...
...
like the fact that the air here permanently smells of cigarettes and pot. I want fresh, clean air! 

In 6 days I get to go back home to Vermont (land of clean air*), and I'm very excited. <3

* because everyone smokes pot in the middle of our beautiful forests, as opposed to the middle of the public lawns.

Sep. 4th, 2011

Why, oh why, would I set myself up to take an entire class about LOVE. Why.

I don't even... how stupid is that.

There is a sort of ridiculousness to it- that class was my last choice, and I know that many others who weren't placed in that class had it as their first choice...
...

I hate it here.
And I don't know why.
But I do.

And yes, I know I ought to "give it time," but there are instances when one just doesn't want to hear such things. This is one such instance. I don't want to be told to "look on the bright side," or have my dad congratulate me in that special patronizing way of his for doing the things I did regularly at home. I know I should look at the positive. I know that in a month I may love it here. But for right now, at this moment, I hate it, and I want to be allowed to hate it fully and without restraint.

I want to be somwhere where I don't have to walk through clouds of cigarette smoke everywhere or listen to people pat themselves on the back. I want to be at a place where everyone doesn't OMGLOVELOVELOVE each other RIGHT. AWAY. I want to go to a school where I can take more than three classes, where the Deans aren't condescending and intent on belittling my choices, where there is an actual improv troupe, where I can take French without sacrificing my schedule, where it's clear what kinds of classes I need to take to earn a degree, where I can have a single so that I can come home and not have to be buddy-buddy with my roommates.

Sh... SHOES!

A week or two ago on Loli Secrets a secret was posted which included THE cutest floral brogues. Unfortunately they were sold out in almost every size (including mine). Since then I've been hunting for a pair of brogues or oxfords, and just recently I found a great pair at Miss Selfridge, a higher end British chain store.

These, to be exact:
http://media.missselfridge.com/wcsstore/MissSelfridge/images/catalog/51P35GBRN_large.jpg

I generally avoid buying shoes online because it's so disappointing when they don't fit. (and they tend not to). These shoes had the added strike of being in UK sizing, which generally doesn't offer half-sizes as often as American sizes. I'm smack in between two sizes, SO....
(wow, this is a boring journal entry. :P Don't read it. Go somewhere else, it's only going to get worse!)

But I took a chance and bought the shoes anyway...
...they arrived today...
AND THEY FIT

I'm so happy! I'm wearing them with the ugliest socks ever, and they still look great. They're leather, so they'll last for as long as I continue to take care of them. <3 Hooray~

Annnnd...
...
I can't wait to see who wins on The Voice. My favorite contestant is Vicci Martinez, but I also like Dia and Beverly (Not so sure about Javier, simply because I never ended up following him at all). I can see any of the four finalists winning. I tried to vote, but I missed the phone number when it flashed on-screen. Slow down! Not everyone is used to doing this sort of thing!

...Why yes, I am trying to kill time. It's been raining for days straight, and I am indeed bored.
Eh.

Dusty rose

A little while ago, I traded my dusty rose IW Teddy Sweets JSK away. Since then, I've been regretting it! I didn't like the bears at the bottom- too infantile; but I loved the way the dress fit me, thought the little belt entirely sweet, and the base fabric (dusty rose with a lace print) lovely!

So I'm (sort of) hunting for a replacement. I just found a JSK on Mbok for 7000 yen, which is pretty great. But I'm always wary of buying things, what with going away to college in a few short months and surely needing the money then.

The dress in question is the pink version of this:
http://hellolace.net/wardrobe/innocent-world/type/jsk/item/21/

I want to coordinate it with brown. Pink and brown together is one of my favorite color combinations!

I've been having scary dreams lately...

For some reason, my dreams lately have been incredibly unsettling!

A few nights ago, I dreamed that I lived in a town in which genocide was being carried out against all adults. I thought that my mother, brother and father were all already dead, but Ms. Frederick (a real life teacher of mine) had still assigned me homework. I wrote an essay about how miserable and lonely I was.

In dreams I usually don't really feel my emotions- like, I'll know that I'm happy, but I won't actually feel it. But in this dream, I was absolutely heart-broken. It got worse. I was outside with my grandmother on my mom's side (who had somehow been overlooked), and we were at a cafe. Suddenly, it was announced that my mother had been held in a secret prison, and was going to be released! I stood up and waited as she slowly made her way to me. It was sunny and I couldn't see her face well, but I held my arms out and thought that if I could just hold her, she would be safe. She just made it to me when someone shouted out, "wait! That woman is actually...!" and I knew they were going to arrest her again. I started hugging her and crying and telling her I loved her, and then they dragged her away. After that my dream started having a narrator, who narrated how they tortured her. It was awful, and I'm not about to go into detail! After four weeks (according to Mr. Narrator...), they dumped her back on the sidewalk, where she died.

HORRIBLE. I woke up whimpering. :/ I very nearly ran upstairs (I was sleeping in the basement to avoid the heat) and jumped into bed with my mom... but it was 5 am and she wouldn't've been very sympathetic. :P

Last night, I dreamed that there was some kind of spider/scorpion mix thing running around in the kitchen. We've been having our usual early-summer giant-ant infestation, so the dream really freaked me out! I usually save spiders, too... :( I covered it with a bucket and called an exterminator, but I felt really bad about it and tried to let the thing go, at which point it promptly stung me.

A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was trying to escape the Holocaust. I was downtown, and I met up with Audrey Tautou (AKA France's favorite actress). I knew that only she could help me. She kept trying to convince me that no one could hear us talking, but we kept meeting in public places like restaurants. Eventually we went back to my neighborhood, and I kept moving from my house to my neighbor's while Audrey kept watch. I don't think it'd work in real life...

I blame Holocaust and Human Behavior class. So much reading about genocide and murder has got to play wit your subconscious!

I need need need to post!

I should absolutely make a post! The last one was from Thanksgiving. No way...

Hmmm. Well! In Morning Musume news, my dear Princess Linlin has graduated... which kills me. But at least now my icon matches with my favorite current MM Member (Miss Usa girl herself, Sayumi!). Four new members have also joined the group, and they look wonderfully promising. in case that all wasn't enough, the group's longtime rock and leader, Takahashi Ai, is graduating in about 9 months. Her voice and amazing stage presence will not be easily replaced. I shudder to think that Reina will be given even more lines.

In Lolita news... there is a dress. It is beautiful. It is by Victorian Maiden. And it is selling for 16000 yen.... which is expensive, but for not for VM. Normally I'd buy the dress and sell my unwanted items later. Unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) I'm saving up for a plane ticket...

... because I'm going to be flying to Washington state to see Berryz Koubou! Aaaah! The first Idols I ever heard, way back when I was 12, will become the first Idols I'll see live! I cried when I realized that I could go. So amazing. To be able to see H!P girls live... it's something I've quite literally dreamed about.

Midterms are over. All of them were easy save for math, which was brutal (as most math tests tend to be when I'm concerned). Ah, it'll be nice to start the new semester!

A very elegant Thanksgiving

I celebrate Thanksgiving at my grandfather and step-grandmother's house every year. For those of you wondering, my mom's parents got divorced, and her both have since remarried. Thus, I have step-grandies.

My grandfather and step-grandmother's house is beautiful. It's in Jericho, VT, which is in itself a lovely, rural, mountainous part of the state. My grandfather and step-grandmother (Na and Willa) live in a beautiful old house on a dirt road, on a mountain, surrounded by trees and flanked by a pond. The inside of the house is filled with exquisite, beautiful, comfortable, or just plain amusing things. Big and little dogs flop around in front of the fireplace, the furniture doesn't match in the most wonderful way possible, and Willa feeds everyone delicious food, all the while cracking jokes in a British accent which she picked up years ago and simply refuses to lose.

I think it's because of that house that I love old and delicate things. Na and Willa have lived an interesting life together, and collected many wonderful keepsakes. They've also inherited many antiques and family treasures from relatives.

They have three guest rooms. One, the only one that's upstairs, is covered in Willa's sewing and crafting ingredients (she can create some truly hideous things, and she knows it). The largest of the three guest rooms used to belong to Willa's mother, who lived with them in the last years of her life. Now it's a beautiful, light-colored room with crisp white bedspreads and old photographs.

The last guest room is the one I've always considered "mine." It's the smallest of the three, and adjacent to the largest one. There's a double sized bed covered in a plain white blanket against one wall, and opposite that a little mirror with a corner that broke into the shape of a heart. Willa painted around the broken bit, and then added the words "Heart-breakingly Lovely" (you see what she did there?). Below that is a small table with a round white box which apparently once contained "Gentleman's condiment- a delicious sauce to be used on Toast, Savouries, and Hors d'Oeuvres."

The main reason I love that room, though, is the books. Two walls of the room are taken up by shelves of all kinds of books. There are books that are entirely Willa's sense of humor- for example, "Bottoms," an artbook dedicated to, yes, bottoms in famous artwork (there's even a "guess the booty!" section), as well as a great many antique books. I've been making my way through the oldest books slowly. Most of them are volumes of poetry or compilations of fairy tales.Today I was lucky enough to happen upon a tiny book of French poetry. The book nearly fit into the palm of my hand, and the cover was dark blue. The book was published in 1908, but it still felt solid and sturdy. I was happy to find, at the very end of the book, a selection of poems by Paul Verlaine. His poems are generally a bit melancholy, but they're (usually) simple enough that I can read them without the aid of a dictionary. I love reading them very much.

I'm honestly not sure where I want to go with this journal entry. I just don't want to let the feeling of the evening leave me just yet. Imagine it- being in the most beautiful house, in a cozy room, having just eaten delicious food with good company, and holding a sturdy old book of French poems in your lap... it's perfect.

Things became even better later. After dessert, Willa took a hold of my wrist and, without explaining, led me up the (dangerously steep) stairs to the large guest-room-turned-experimental-craft-lab... and handed me a bag filled with lace, and not just any lace. Antique, hand-made lace that Willa's grandmother had saved from goodness knows where. Some of the scraps were stained, and many were full of holes (and not the intentional openwork kind), but half of the bag was salvageable. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the beauties, but just looking at them makes me sigh with happiness.

Books, French poetry, dogs, food, beautiful things, antiques, improbable British accents...
I once read a book which described heaven as a place in which you relive your perfect day over and over again. Today would be that day for me.

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